now I can't remember...

Ok... in the bathroom yesterday morning, getting dressed, mind going on and around, etc., as usual... I thought of a great title for my book. And now, I cannot remember it.
my pregnant honeymoon to mexico with a drug dealer travelling under an assumed name, with a car titled in a different assumed name...
that wasn't it, but close... maybe it will come back to me.
Regardless, not the best way to start a marriage. I had already thought maybe I should not be with this guy. He had a temper, and I was already seeing that the spontaneity I thought I loved was actually total irresponsibility. But then troubles with birth control pills, and a doctor who said " oh just get off them for a few months, you are getting married in 3 months and they stay in your system longer than that" led to, oh yes, the first week off the pill --- a surprise. Which of course made itself apparent in the 5th week, as I travelled home for ' the week before the wedding' activities. I spent that week getting last minute things done, picking up bridesmaid gifts, mother and mother in law gifts, finding jewelry to wear, making hor'doerves, making a veil, all the while suffering through a "stomach virus" (later to be named Maren). When my husband-to-be (referred to at later dates as various male body parts and occasionally, 'the sperm donor') arrived a couple of days before the wedding, we made an appointment at a friend of a friend's doctor for a license required blood test. I mentioned to this 'friend' (who actually was a nice guy) that I had been throwing up and was exhausted..... at which point he added the pregnancy test to the bloodwork.
***just a note so I do not appear stupider than I possibly am - the previous doctor who told me that the pill would stay in my system also said that it might take a while for the periods to come back- so I was not auditioning for the future reality show "I didn't know I was pregnant" ***
So there we were, the day before the wedding, pregnant. I was over 30, my husband to be was 35 and we did want children (except for that " I don't know if I should marry this guy" thing) so we took it as a good thing. The wedding went off without  a hitch, parents did not know about impending baby... and on to the honeymoon. We had discussed going to Mexico (not the drug lord infested hell hole it is now) to a beach. I can only assume now that my pregnancy with possible fatigue and non-drinking was apparently going to ruin his trip, because he (the big 'insert male body part') decided that he should invite his best friend and the girlfriend to accompany us. This best friend can only be described as an ass....actually there are many more descriptions that would apply but that sums it up. He had tried to kiss/god knows what me the night before the wedding at the combined bachelor/bachelorette party, which didn't seem to be a problem for the groom.
Later, I figured out why.
So off we go, driving in Ass's car with his constantly drugged girlfriend, to Mexico. My pleas for less curvy fast roads, and more food stops were ignored. Consequently, I through up all through Mexico.
But first, as we pull up to the border, my husband informed me that Ass's name was not Ass for this trip, it was Grady Mullins. As a drug dealer, you have to be a quick thinker. He had bought the car, and assumed the name on the title, after which he procured a fake id with said name. What he failed to realise was the name on the title he used, was the previous owner's dad, who had sold the car to his son, so the name on the title was actually NOT Grady Mullins. So while I was trying to remember to call him Grady instead of Ass, he was trying to explain why the names did not match to the Mexican officials.
I am sure by now you are wondering how I missed sooo sooo many signs that I had made a MAJOR mistake, and that is a question I live with to this day...

more later... I should actually pretend harder to be working..